Humor

 


Ten Tips for Taking Lunch to Work

 

Tip # 1

I prefer making lunch for work the night before, and after my third beer of the night. This provides that much sought after and easily obtainable….”element of surprise”, to next day’s lunch.  If you don’t drink beer, fixing next day’s lunch will be a drudgery.

 Tip # 2

Don’t feed the cat the same time you make lunch, especially after the third beer.  Mistakes happen.

Tip # 3

Always pack more lunch than you’ll need for one meal….that way, you won’t go hungry.  A “back-up sandwich” will always come in handy….some day.

Tip # 4

Pack a wet washcloth in a zip-lock baggy with your lunch.  You can use the washcloth for your face and hands after eating.  This adds a touch of sophistication to your meal—-making your work day more civilized.  You can even throw in a chocolate mint if you like.

Tip # 5

If you pack soup, make sure you include a spoon.  It’s hard to eat soup with a fork, and somewhat embarrassing.

Tip # 6

When packing a peanut butter sandwich for lunch….don’t make it the night before and stick it in the fridge.  Peanut butter does not age well in the fridge and looks like HELL.  Wait until morning to make the sandwich.

Tip # 7

If you use a cooler to carry your lunch in, keep it clean.  Dried mustard, ketchup, axle grease, and the occasional blob of gum, will make your lunch look unappetizing.  If you use a paper bag, put your name on it.  It’s hard to explain how you “got into” someone else’s lunch by mistake, especially if you had forgotten which lunch was yours, due to strict adherence to Tip # 1.

Tip #8

If you prefer a sandwich for lunch….cut it in half, use two zip lock sandwich bags….one-half sandwich in each bag.  Trying to stuff a whole sandwich into just one of those little sandwich bags, invariably mashes the sandwich, and the bag won’t zip due to food junk in the zipper.  For more variety, mix it up on the bread.  Pumpernickel for one sandwich, rye for the other.  Take cornbread or crackers for soup. Tips 9 and 10 refer to microwave ovens and the safe, courteous use thereof.

Tip #9

If you use a microwave at work to heat your lunch, and this is very important….learn what foods can and can’t be heated in a microwave without offending the noses of your co-workers.  Broccoli is a “NO NO”, along with any type of fish product.  Never, never put sardines in a microwave.

Tip #10

Popcorn.  Taking a bag of popcorn to work is very easy.  Popping it safely, on the other hand, can be a different matter entirely.  Do not walk away from popcorn while it is popping.  Burnt popcorn can damage the microwave. Burnt popcorn stinks.  If the microwave is in a public lunch room, and your popcorn burns, you WILL DEVELOP A REPUTATION quite possibly a nickname.  Being know as “Ole Smokey” or “The Popcorn Pooper” could follow you for the rest of your working career.  Maybe even longer.

 

Have a nice lunch.  

C. Allen Benson

6 Comments

  1. C. Allen Benson said:

    Did you mean to say “reverent”, instead of relevant?

    July 8, 2015
    Reply
  2. C. Allen Benson said:

    Thanks.

    February 24, 2016
    Reply
  3. Doom Chams said:

    Appreciate the recommendation. Let me try it out.

    May 22, 2016
    Reply
  4. GaleEMaifeld said:

    Very nice article, just what I wanted to find.

    August 27, 2016
    Reply

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