THE STORE CARD?
Nowadays it seems, every time I buy something at a store…drug store, grocery store, hardware store, etc., nine times out of ten, when I get up to the cashier’s counter I’m asked, “Do you have your (fill in the blank), _____card sir?”
“No. I don’t have one.”
“Would you like to get one?”
“It’ll only take a minute,sir”.
“Are you sure?”
“YES I’M SURE, and NO……… I DON’T WANT ONE!”
“What’s-matter, sir? Don’t you want to save money?”
(A mundane discussion about the STORE CARD with the store clerk, has turned into a verbal confrontation. If it’s not bad enough trying to convince the “person” behind the counter, three times in one conversation, that I don’t want the damn STORE CARD, I have to relate to him/her, and the attentive line that’s started to form behind me; my financial opinion on saving or not saving money, by having or not having, the STORE CARD.)
“No. You dumb-ass. DIDN’T YOU HEAR ME THE FIRST TIME? If I had wanted one of your frigging STORE CARDS, wouldn’t I already own one? Don’t you think I have enough sense to ask for one on my own without your prodding?
How about this for an idea, LARD HEAD….suppose you keep a Store Card behind the counter there, for people like me who don’t want to carry around twenty or thirty Store Cards, one for every store in town. Then, when I need to use it, all you gotta do is reach down, grab it and scan it. You can do all that without having to talk to me at all…except for a cordial hello when I first walk up to your counter. That-way, I won’t have to stand here, hunting through my billfold, searching through my purse, or whatever, holding up all these good people behind me, starting to swaying back and forth on their heels, praying that I will hurry up, pay for my stuff, and get the hell-outta-the-way. There might be a serial killer back there waiting in line, nervously. You never know. This could be the trigger that sets him or her off, and you’d be responsible.
Do I what…..?
No! I don’t want my receipt.
Shove %# &^ *@%$ #@@!”